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That energy, however, when we allow it to be there, when we move toward it and feel it, and share is what provides the space for real intimacy to develop.
I don’t think intimacy can be truly felt without vulnerability; and so, the more we are willing to be vulnerable, the more potential we also have to experience intimacy with another.
With Curiosity, we take this impulse to learn about each other and make it intentional and explicit, which allows us to increase the amount of vulnerability arising in the space between us.
For me, I’ve done a lot of work to cultivate my curiosity, so I tend to already be asking questions, even somewhat edgy questions, from very early on.
This means not to ask or listen from a place of relating anything they say back to your own experience.
Don’t be think about the time the same thing happened to you, or how you agree or disagree with what they are saying, and so on.
This sets parameters around the game—without which, it may either collapse before finished and both people have had their turn, go on for too long to the point of strain and discomfort.
In this time, the person asking the questions can ask whatever they want; the possibility here is for the questioner to also play with their vulnerability in asking questions they may feel a little shy or uncomfortable to normally ask.