Who pays while dating
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As a couple progresses in a dating relationship, the dynamic can change regarding who pays for the dates.
Some women may prefer to step up and assume control of asking and paying for dates, and other couples share the expense of going out for a good time.
The repeated action of a man leading, asking and paying for dates creates a pattern in the dating relationship.
The woman in the traditional scenario assumes a following role.
It may also mean flipping those roles upside down entirely and picking up the full bill — . Even though it’s 2018 and more of us than ever are determined to make the future female — men and women are not yet equal. So it may feel wrong to consider yourself a card-carrying Feminist and that the man will pay for your date.
For the gents out there – why are you paying for the meal or drink? Nothing is sexier than a guy who knows what he wants. Literally or figuratively, next to your list of 36 Questions to Ask Strangers and Fall in Love.
As a quasi-disclaimer slash side-note: Yes, I am straight, and I personally would 100% be flattered by a guy paying for a meal (sorry, I don’t really drink, so that’s not very titillating to me).
At first — but the newness of it is wearing off, and I realised it’s actually also really tiring, and so, so, so weird. And back in our ancestral years, dating was more of a, “Hey, Lucy from the next town over, I saw you milking the cows really well. I’ll show how you great I am at earning money so we can buy a decent home. Point is: just like sexual consent, buying someone a meal (or receiving a free meal) can also be experienced through the lens of “comfort”, since there are degrees of comfort. And if you want your guy to pay on the first date: Because say, if we’re friends, we’ve known each other for a while and someone finally popped the question, “Let’s go on a date.” And the guy doesn’t at least offer to pay, or show me his chilvarous side, his ability to look out for my needs etc…How are you planning on getting out of the friend zone, exactly? When the discomfort or situation arises for you to use your boundaries or communicate it, then do so.
Let me show you how great of a farmer I can be.” *Proceeds to lift stacks of hay with one arm*Nowadays, roles have shifted around and it’s more like, “Hey Lucy, I would like to make 1.5 offsprings with you but inflation’s really bad right now and we need two breadwinners to make this work. Thus, it can also be seen through the framework of boundaries. (fuck that) Regardless, decide how you want the first “transaction” or interaction to go, and . Otherwise, it’s good to have a think of it and keep it in your back pocket.