Stages of college dating
I don’t think most good things in life, like having a child or getting a really good job, are rewards for righteous behavior in a reward/punishment scheme.
It’s not helpful to think of life that way.” “Thinking in the longer picture, can be helpful in not being so destination- or outcome-focused.” Practice thinking long-term.
“That first stage of dating is all about understanding the opposite sex, getting a sense of who they are,” said Erickson.
“It’s about coming to understand the individual’s identity, having fun and feeling more independent.” Erickson also said that phase one is not the time to be thinking about marriage.
“Seeing these three stages in a developmental frame can really help students,” said Erickson.
“Phase two isn’t really about getting married, either,” said Erickson.
“But at some point in phase two, an individual can be think ‘I know what I want from a partner, I know what I want to be as a partner,’ and then they move on to phase three.” Phase three is when individuals really are ready to begin dating for marriage.
“This is where individuals start to find people they want to commit their lives to,” said Erickson.
Young couples and those beginning to look for potential spouses can create realistic expectations for marriage by talking with their parents or other couples who have been where they are or will be.
While single, people can learn to see marriage as a journey and realize that having a family or being married isn’t going to solve all of their problems. What things do you value and what do you want your life to be about?