Single parent dating in dublin

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Both stung horrendously and though others, in an effort to balm the hurt, urged that they should not be taken seriously, they were taken as serious expressions of blame, judgment and even hostility to the type of motherhood mine was. This label is rarely used in today’s discourse, the pejorative connotations – to be “not-married” – do not sit well with our view of ourselves as having moved beyond such value-laden attitudes.

After all, even in the case of the classic “nuclear” family, one in three is now headed by a cohabiting couple.

We are, we tell ourselves, an expansive, inclusive society, supportive of the changing reality of family life where marriage is no longer a prerequisite for acceptability.

However unpalatable a truth as this may be, Ireland is not yet a welcoming society for single parents – whether single mothers or single fathers.

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Commentary abounds of the harsh treatment of unmarried mothers in the Ireland of the first half of the 20th century, of the punitive manner in which the State/church nexus sought to govern, control and punish those women who “fell” pregnant apparently all of their own doing.Separated fathers who experience the inverted patriarchy of the family courts or who are denied rent allowance sufficient to allow them provide a home with space enough to have their children stay overnight will testify to systemic prejudice directed at them.More recently, Co Kerry priest Fr Sean Sheehy caused offence when he was among many who gave comfort to convicted sex-offender Danny Foley in December 2009. Fr Sheehy, who had acted as a character witness, had also been among up to 50 who trooped up to Foley in the court after his conviction to support him and shake his hand.It was a trying time for us both and we both received support from friends and family.A comment from one among my circle was probably meant as friendly advice: “Unfortunately,” he said – educated, urbane, younger than I was – “you have made things very difficult for yourself.” Both comments were referring to the fact that I was – am – a single mother.

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