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It was relatively early in the day and I was bored and walking around checking things out when I saw a dude lying on his back, in the grass, way in the corner. This is REAL bad; it’s the first sign of asphyxiation, and means he is literally drowning on his own puke.
Something about the way he was lying looked weird, limbs all akimbo, so I went to make sure he was OK. I immediately roll him over, and give him the Heimlich.
Table of Contents Title Page Author’s Note The Cancun Stories Why to learn CPR Boot and rally Give me two pair, I need two pair Welcome to the Thunderdome How Tucker Max became “Tucker Max” It’s a love spot The First Rule of Mexico Finder’s Fee Bambi Sweet Caroline Eat your heart out Jason Bourne The Final Straw The Consequences Postscript Drugs Are Bad, Mmmkay?
Sling Blade’s Account Tucker’s Account Sexting With Tucker Max: Absurd Why Halloween Is Awesome 2002, part 1 2002, part 2 2003 2006 Fat Girls Cross Tucker, Hilarity Ensues The Fat and the Furious True Friendship The Deadliest Vacation The Invitation The Anchorage party and the 0 Bear Mace Special The Time Bandit Dutch Harbor Sexting With Tucker Max: Mean The Fight Stories The TMZ Debacle Tucker gets into fight, hilarity ensues Meet My Friend Hate The Backstory The Pizza Incident The Italian Restaurant The Italy Trip The Apartment The Airbag The Jimmy John’s Incident The Leftovers Tucker Ruins A Wine Tasting The Ex-Girlfriend Threesome Fallout HILARITY ENSUES TUCKER MAX BOOKS BY TUCKER MAX I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL ASSHOLES FINISH FIRST HILARITY ENSUES SLOPPY SECONDS COPYRIGHT © 2012 TUCKER MAX AUTHOR’S NOTE My real name is Tucker Max.
I was talking to girls at the same time, however, so I wasn’t paying much attention.
He was sitting on a couch and leaned over to puke, and as he did this, he pulled his hat off his head and threw up right into it.
I left Durham at the end of February, and then stayed down there for spring break season.
If you crack the law school test “code” and write for what they are looking for, the tests are a cinch.
If you’re really smart, you don’t even need to study.
That triggers some kind of violent spasm and he starts puking all over the place, making a complete mess of himself. Make sure and take it a little slower this time.” Guy “Uhh … not really.” Tucker “I’m the guy who saved your fucking life at Pat O’Brien’s.
Yeah, he ruined his favorite Señor Frog’s t-shirt, but that’s way better than fucking dying. OK.” It was obvious by his eyes that this dude was not registering who I was. You were choking on your own vomit, I gave you the Heimlich and called the ambulance.” Guy “Oh, yeah. I mean, I remember starting the day, and I remember leaving the hospital yesterday, but that’s about it.