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Just don’t expect him to cut you off out of compassion, he likes you too much as a friend. It’s easier to live in a fantasy where it still might happen then to do something definitive that would shatter that fantasy permanently.

Finally, please own up to the idea that your story is not unique.

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We have seen each other through so much, and we are very supportive of one another. But…it never seems to evolve into the whole enchilada. Hate to say it, Maria, but splash some cold water on your face and wake up, you’re living in a fantasy.

It applies to other women who refuse to see reality. And especially, this one: This Guy Loves Talking to Me But Does Not Want to be My Boyfriend Are you getting the idea? But if you ever want to find true love, by which I mean the reciprocated kind, you’re going to have to do these two things:1) Get out of fantasyland and realize that you’re not in love. Your chemistry is far stronger on your side than it is on his.

Your story, Maria, is the most common story on Earth, the woman who is convinced that the man has equally strong feelings from her, except he’s just not acting on them, dammit! It sounds to me like you are finding all the evidence you can to support your hypothesis (we have chemistry, we kissed once, he loves me platonically), except you’re ignoring the one thing that blows your hypothesis out of the water: He Hasn’t Asked You Out! If you still doubt me, remember: if he felt the chemistry that you feel, don’t you think he’d ask you out?

I have tried, several times, to cease contact with him so I can focus on another guy, yet he always calls and rekindles emotions in me. And if they’re not doing what you want them to, you have two choices: stay or go. Let’s start with your first line: “no story matches mine”. I would say that about fifty percent of the emails I get come from women who are dealing with some form of unrequited love.

Now, of course, nobody actually thinks that this advice applies to them. I’m looking through the archives right now: I Moved to Be With My Long Distance Boyfriend and Now He Ignores me I Still Sleep With My Cheating Ex-Husband I Love My Ex-Boyfriend, But He Only Calls Me When He Wants Phone Sex My Catholic Boyfriend Refuses to Have Sex With Me. My Ex Keeps Promising to Commit, But He Never Follows Through. But unless he’s taken a secret vow of celibacy or has been trapped under a refrigerator since 2006, there’s nothing preventing him from asking you out. So if you’re perfectly content being in love with your best friend and not giving any other guys a shot, keep on doing what you’re doing.

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