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This is likely because an initial message serves mostly to make your profile available to the other person.

The lesson: Spend time on your profile, and don't stress too much about your first e-mail! Be Direct When it comes to virtual dating, forget playing "hard to get." If someone you're interested in contacts you, it won't pay off to "casually" wait a few days to reply.

"Online dating used to be a strictly matrimonial endeavor," says Spira.

"You'd go online, find your husband and get offline.

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e Harmony: Fill out a detailed questionnaire and this site will use its unique compatibility matching system to electronically pair you up with other users.

), but it gives the impression that you have nothing to hide; confidence is always attractive.

While the pictures you post should be clear—giving the viewer an accurate glimpse of what you really look like—don't completely discount self-taken shots (the ones where you hold out your camera to take your own portrait).

Ok Trends, the data-analysis blog for the dating website Ok Cupid.com, says that self-shot photos can actually be very effective in attracting partners, most likely because they are approachable, casual and make the viewer feel close to the subject—all good things! Your Profile Your goal should be to create an engaging profile that piques people's interest and makes them want to know more about you.

To do that, "talk about yourself in anecdotes," says Gonzaga.

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