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“Parents can feel taken advantage of when they see adult children going on vacations that the parents have denied themselves,” she says.The parents may also be putting their own retirement at risk.Credit cards are marketed to different demographics, and you can look together for a card your child is likely to qualify for.Being an authorized user on your card may help them get the card they want, but if they have trouble qualifying, a secured credit card is another option. It’s another milestone in becoming independent from parental finances.

“We want them to experience the same pride in supporting themselves that we have,” Ballou says.

The amount can be startling, says certified financial planner Lynn Ballou of EP Wealth Advisors in Lafayette, California.

While it’s easy to wish the young adults had simply stepped up and announced they would take over, Ballou says, it’s not fair.

It’s common for parents to be unaware of exactly how much they are spending on their adult children — the family phone plan, Netflix and perhaps highway tolls don’t feel like additional expenses if you’ve always paid them.

It may not even dawn on you until you’re looking at retirement and calculating monthly spending.

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