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Thankfully, my wife has been very supportive because she knew this was the way I was wired from the beginning and it aligns with her core beliefs, as she enjoys change and pursuing things off the beaten path.Too many marriages start (and end) with vague and un-identified core values. Or are you constantly trying to hide who you are because they want you to be someone you’re not?Not trying to change you, but trying to bring the best to the top.A spouse should be like a gold miner, going under the surface to uncover the invaluable stuff underneath.Both values are good, but if not articulated and discussed it could be a point of high conflict if the responsible person likes consistency and persistence, while the risk-taker likes changing things up and going for the impossible.

() And it’s hard to un-wire 18 years of being shown how to talk and listen to others in family situations.Do you feel fragmented when you’re with your partner or do you feel whole? Is your partner trying to force you to become like some figment of their unrealistic dating imagination?Or are they challenging you to become a better, authentic you?Is the person you’re dating like a magnet trying to bring the best of you to the surface?Or are they trying to bury you under a pile of dirt?

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