Dating with young children
Someone is going to be pre-booked for Christmas and events, night in and out are going to have logistical connotations, and compromise is going to have to become an art form.
The other unavoidable factor in all this is the ex-partner.
Your children may not want to share the spotlight, and that may never change. And we only got walked in on during sex twice during the process.
The first time I disrobed in front of Matt, who hadn't ever seen any woman who had three kids naked, let alone me, I was nervous, and it took a while before I stopped sucking in my gut. But those issues were mine, not his, and eventually they dissipated. It is helpful if the new partner verbally expresses love and a mutual understanding that they are not the father/mother but rather the boyfriend/girlfriend/stepparent. We have made it clear that he loves them like a father, but is not their father. We deal with this by trying to spread the attention around. I could be found either holding my head high or, alternatively, cowering in the darkest corner of a restaurant. When my ex married someone I didn't necessarily approve of, who spent too much money on buying the kids sunglasses instead of school clothes, stayed out too late, drank too much, etc., keeping my mouth shut was..easy. Our approach was to always try to make our house a place of safety and stability. In fact it's not only possible, it's completely worth it.
To quote the great , when you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
You may find that you spend more time thinking about your motherly (or fatherly) physique.
Claire acknowledges that there was some initial caution on her part about embarking on a relationship with someone who was already a dad.
"I was a bit wary at the start because I don't have kids and I'm not the biggest kid person really. When I had never met his daughter, I didn't know what kind of a relationship they had.