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“[Joining a club] is great because it’s not threatening and it doesn’t look like you’re on the look-out for someone,” says Pina.“It helps you to relax and helps you talk about something you’re passionate about.So if you’ve been in a dating rut, take a break for some personal reflection.

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“You want a relationship that will be fulfilling and a positive model for the children you have,” she says.“Get online and get on at least one dating website,” Pina says.It makes it easy to look for men without trying to scout them out at a party from behind your wine glass.“When I was a matchmaker, I found that [my clients] just wanted to talk about dates, not why they were attracting the wrong type of person in the first place,” says Pina.Women without a strong sense of self, or those who haven’t taken the time to stop and think about what they’re looking for in a husband besides “the perfect guy,” will repeatedly date people who aren’t even close to a good match for them.

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