Dating for widow
My new boyfriend is now my new husband and I don’t keep pictures of Craig up in our new home except for one in my office, tucked beside my computer monitor where I do my writing.
I still kept some of Craig’s clothes (now integrated into my own wardrobe) and several boxes of his awards, comic books, and other memorabilia. Somehow they always ended up finding their way back onto my left hand.
Have you ever called him by your late husband’s name? And not for anything special – just asking him to bring the laundry upstairs. Fortunately he had a good sense of humour about it (and a short memory).
This was always a big fear of mine, something I sweated about for weeks leading up to our wedding.
Some widows are comfortable dating as early as a month or two out, others wait years, and some never date again at all.
This is a personal choice that each widow must make for herself. I was very up front with them and told them how I felt and what was going on.
I did sweat a little over starting to date after only a couple months. Of course I waited several months to make sure it was more of a serious relationship before I opened up to them.
Not because I didn’t feel ready, but because I was sick with worry over what others might think. A very wise widow once told me, “I fulfilled every marriage vow right until death do us part – can others say the same? I also brought up the general topic of potentially dating and shared with them how I felt several times leading up to the big announcement.
You can’t love someone all your life, whispering their name out loud and in your thoughts a thousand times a day without inevitably letting it slip out. It did, however, make me more forgiving of my poor mother who was constantly trying to keep her five kids’ names straight.
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I sit back down, slide my laptop over, hit refresh. In a world of social media and worldwide gossip, neighbours no longer need to walk three miles to gossip about the love life of the local widow.
I changed my relationship status on Facebook to “Engaged”.