Dating death spouse
Both stated that widowers tried to remain "strong" when in public, crying infrequently in front of family members.
Widowers seemed to think this would be helpful to their children.
One widower spent time with his own siblings and visiting his children. Another widower noted that it is difficult to talk to male friends about the grief experience.
These groups overlapped in that widowers may have used more than one method to combat loneliness.
Other responses were the inability to think or talk about the deceased wife and to avoid every family event reproducing memories of deceased wife.
The widower had difficulty defining himself after the death of his wife and difficulty making decisions.
It was felt that this was particularly important for surviving daughters.One widower noted that men are not "naturally chatty" and do not ask for help easily.He was also aware that people have lives of their own and cannot always be as supportive as they wish because of their own time and financial and emotional commitments. Widowers with dependent children suggested it would have been helpful to have someone else talk to their children about their mother's death and normal stages of growing up, as their mother would have done.Although I had some good male friends, I just didn't feel like I could go over and say, "Let's have a piece of cake and a good cry." It is hard to go to someone's house and say "I really need to talk about the death of my wife." You know, guys just don't do that.So, I ended up working out a lot of things on my own.