It was invigorating to have an older man express interest in me and my life; it didn’t matter that that life wasn’t mine, but Dana’s, or that he was supposedly old, potentially married, and borderline illiterate.For me, cybersex with Frank Zappy was nothing short of a full-blown sexual awakening.We met in an AOL chatroom in the “Friends” category, bonding over a shared interest in baseball and the inspiration for his screenname; I’d impressed him by referencing the lyrics to “Don’t Eat the Yellow Snow.” Every day (except Monday and Wednesday, when I had Hebrew school), between pm and pm, I’d grab the Compaq laptop from my parents’ room, zip past my babysitter watching General Hospital, and log onto AOL to see if Frank Zappy was on my buddy list.
For the first few weeks or so, my relationship with Frank Zappy skirted the lines of PG-13 respectability.
I only have vague memories about the first time I had sex.
(I was 15, and it was the intermission of my camp’s production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream; I was Helena, he was Lysander, and that’s all you need to know.) I do, however, have a very clear memory of the first time I had cybersex. His AIM handle was Frank Zappy, and I believe he claimed to be a married man from Queens.
And to be honest, I don’t think he knew what he was saying either.
He wasn’t particularly imaginative, or even literate.