Boundaries in dating by henry cloud and john townsend
“If you would define the property lines a little better, if you would fix the sprinkler system so that the water would fall on your lawn, and if he didn’t water his own lawn, he would have to live in dirt.
When I asked where Bill was, they answered, “Oh, he didn’t want to come.” “Why? “Well, he doesn’t think he has a problem,” they replied. “Tell me about it.” They recited a history of problems that had begun at a very young age.We have to deal with what is in our soul, and boundaries help us to define what that is.If we are not shown the parameters, or are taught wrong parameters, we are in for much pain.He had plenty of money at school so “he wouldn’t have to work and he would have plenty of time for study and a social life.” When he flunked out of one school, or stopped going to classes, they were more than happy to do everything they could to get him into another school, “where it might be better for him.” After they had talked for a while, I responded: “I think your son is right. Those things should be his problem, but as it now stands, they are yours.He doesn’t have a problem.” You could have mistaken their expression for a snapshot; they stared at me in disbelief for a full minute. Would you like for me to help you help him to have some problems?