Active topics in dating quiz
So the next time you feel questioned, go back to the original statement and think about the four facets. Focus on the actual facts of the message and use questions to clarify whether you understood what the other person was trying to tell you.
For some more information on the theory and some examples watch this 3-minute video: .
To revive communication in a relationship try the following exercise: Person A gets 10 minutes to talk about their day, while person B is listening actively and with a genuine interest. After person A’s 10 minutes are up (all of the allotted time needs to be used), person B gets to talk for ten minutes as well, while the same listening rules apply to person A.
Person B is allowed to ask clarifying questions but should not interrupt person A. You will find that 10 minutes is a very long time to listen.
To make it even more complex, as a receiver we tend to have one of the four “ears” particularly well trained (factual ear, relationship ear, self-revelation ear or appeal ear).
So if the husband has a well-trained relationship ear, he may decode the sentence to be something like “you are unreliable since you have forgotten to refill the sugar jar,” and he might retort with something like, “Well you are not very reliable, you still haven’t fixed the light in the kitchen! Things unravel quickly when we are not hearing each other.
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We love connecting with other people because it makes us happy—good communication is the key when it comes to positive social interaction. Read on for a summary of some important models and theories in the field of communication.Think about it: which one is your best developed “ear”?For instance, do you tend to hear an appeal in every sentence?There is never the same emphasis put on each of the four facets, and the emphasis can be meant and understood differently.For instance, a wife saying “the sugar jar is empty” may be less about the fact that there is no sugar left in the jar and more a prompt for her husband to go and fill the jar.